Your wedding vows are the words you and your new spouse say to each other before all your friends and family members—the words that express your love and bind the two of you together in a unique way. While many couples adopt traditional vows or ceremonial words that reflect their faith and culture, others choose to expand the possibilities and write their own personalized wedding vows.
When to Start Writing Your Wedding Vows
You can begin writing your wedding vows whenever you like—the day after your engagement, the day before the wedding, or anytime in between. It’s not advisable to wait until the last minute, though, since the wedding vows traditionally require thought and care.
Be sure you actually write down the vows and make multiple copies of your notes. You might think you have the vows memorized, but in the emotion of the moment, you may forget everything you wanted to say. Write, edit, and copy the notes; then choose a trusted member of the wedding party to carry them and hand them to you at the appropriate point during the ceremony.
How to Discuss the Vows with Your Partner
Some couples may choose to write the vows together, while others write them separately and surprise each other on the big day. Even if you write your vows separately, there are still some basic guidelines you can discuss with your significant other.
Do you want your vows to be a mix of seriousness and humor? Or maybe romance and poetic language are more to your taste. Make sure you’re both agreed on what type of vows you’d prefer to exchange at your wedding so neither one of you is unpleasantly surprised by the other’s choice.
What to Include
Whether you include memories, reasons for your love, some traditional wording, or even a joke or two, be sure that your vows include at least one promise or many. They are called “vows” for a reason, after all—they represent a mutual exchange of trust and love.
You can include sweeping promises that encompass a lifetime, or very specific ones that are uniquely relevant to your relationship. Whatever they are, those promises should carry weight and meaning for you and your partner.
What Not to Say in Your Wedding Vows
As much as you want to personalize your vows, there are a few things that may be considered a little too personal by those witnessing your wedding. Don’t embarrass your spouse by reciting events or details that should be kept private, especially those of an intimate nature. If you think any part of your vows might be too personal or revealing, run that section by a trusted friend of your spouse-to-be, to get a second opinion about the content.
Keep in mind that you’ll have people of all ages and faiths in the audience as well, and avoid comments that may offend or hurt the important people in your life.
As you prepare for your wedding day, don’t forget one of the most important details—the selection of the venue for the event. Nanina’s in the Park offers gorgeous grounds and a beautifully appointed ballroom, which you can tour with your significant other. To schedule a visit or reserve a date for your event, contact us anytime.